The beginning of 2022, I was in one of the darkest places I’ve ever been. If not the darkest, if I’m being truly honest. I was struggling to get out of bed, I wasn’t working, I hated myself, I felt like my relationship with Phil was close to being over, and even the smallest daily tasks felt impossible. Life had become pure survival . . . and I didn’t know how to climb out.
I reached out to my therapist of a few years back and after a few sessions, was diagnosed with CPTSD, depression, and anxiety. This was on top of knowing I was burnt out from three years of hard. I knew I struggled with depression, but had no idea that I was living with anxiety or PTSD. I thought the way I felt inside, and how I lived my experiences, was normal.
If you’ve ever lived in that space . . . the constant tension between exhaustion and responsibility . . . you might understand what I mean. It’s a state I now know as nervous system overwhelm, something I’ve written about more deeply in Why Calming Strategies Don’t Always Work for Kids With Anxiety. Back then, I didn’t have that language. I just knew that everything felt too big.
What I didn’t realise until much later is that forty years of various trauma had coloured my experience in ways I couldn’t see. I had become a people-pleaser who ignored her needs and intuition, and did what I thought should be done. I truly believe I lost my essence. That loss . . . and the slow process of rediscovering it . . . became the heart of my healing journey, and eventually inspired what I now share in For the Kids Who Don’t Fit the System.
Rediscovering Myself Through Self-Healing
I want to say, the work I’m doing on myself is an ongoing process and is really challenging most of the time. I’m not going to lie . . . this work is hard! But my self-healing journey so far has been one of the most transformative experiences of my life.
Having the awareness of past traumas is helping me to build healthy habits and practices to manage my mental health. It’s helping me to rediscover what beliefs are actually mine. I’ve learned so much about myself and what I’m capable of. I feel like I’m coming home to myself which is such a precious place to be in!
I’ll share more of my self-healing journey when it feels right, in the hope that by sharing my story I can help others . . . whether they are on their own healing journey or feel hopeless like I did, not so long ago.
This work has shaped not only my healing but also the way I now approach creativity, work, and parenting.
How Creativity Helped Me During My Darkest Times
During this time I wasn’t ‘working’. I literally just existed. There was no capacity within me to be or do anything . . . except care for and feed my boys on the most basic level.
I’m a creative. That’s something I know for sure about myself. One thread that has traveled with me through my life and continues to show up for me, that I’ll be forever grateful for.
We’d recently built a brand new home. One of the biggest projects of my life and made harder with COVID and construction issues. Another story but we got there.
My oldest boy loved his new, dark, cave-like room and asked for some posters for the walls. He LOVES music and so decided he wanted music themed wall art for his room. I created a set of five posters with inspirational quotes alongside black and white photography. And I was inspired!
That moment was the beginning of something new . . . a quiet way back to myself through creativity. I started designing digital posters with bold, meaningful messages for kids’ bedrooms and opened my Etsy shop, Designs To Be Inspired to share them. Managing just a few hours of work a week at most, it became a small but steady part of my healing process . . . a place where creativity and purpose met peace.
Looking back, I can see how creativity became a nervous system regulator for me. It gave my mind somewhere to rest and my heart something to rebuild with.
Creating a Successful Online Business While Prioritising Self-Care + Family Time
It started from a place of wanting kids to never give up on themselves. To believe in themselves and to keep trying with the things they’re passionate about. I wanted to influence kids all around the world, to love themselves and all that makes them uniquely them. To not lose themselves in the expectations of others, like I did at such a young age.
When I felt inspired to be creative and had the capacity to create, I would add another set of posters to my shop. Always with my self-healing and mental health in mind and during school hours.
I want to be the mum that drops her boys to school and picks them up from the school bus. I want to be the mum that’s available for school trips and extracurricular activities. I want to have sacred Me Time that’s a priority in my weekly schedule. I want to keep a clean and tidy home. I need to have weekly therapy to continue self healing. I want all of this without sacrifice . . . which I’ve been taught is what we do. But no more! I no longer sacrifice my joy and myself because that’s what others want of or from me. No!
What started as a creative outlet slowly became something more . . . a business that supported my healing, my family, and my need for gentle structure. I built my shop with one guiding question: “How can I create in a way that feels safe and sustainable for me?”
I share this because so many of us . . . especially parents of kids who need more . . . carry so much invisible work and emotional labor. We deserve ways to contribute, create, and thrive that don’t cost our mental health.
Side note: I’ve had other online shops but this one is my most successful so far. With this shop I found niching down really helped to grow traffic to it (traffic that converts) and helped me to stay consistent in adding new products. I’m still building my other shops and testing product ideas with the goal of having at least two shops making $500 each a week.
I have created abundance for myself while being a present mum, healing and working with my mental health. And so when I see other mum’s wanting financial independence for themselves and thinking it’s too hard, and without sacrificing being the mum they want to be, I want them to know it is possible.
I want you to know it’s possible. And the impact this will have on your kids, watching you do life in a way that works for you . . . immeasurable and inspiring to say the least!
How to Identify Your Skills & Talents for Creating a Potential Business
When you’re in survival mode, it’s easy to forget what you’re good at. But reconnecting with your skills . . . and your joy . . . is part of healing.
Try reflecting on:
♥ What lights me up when I’m not trying to be productive?
♥ Where do I feel a sense of ease or flow?
♥ What used to make me feel like me before I lost myself to responsibility?
If you struggle to recognise what you’re good at and what you could offer to create a business, download my free workbook that will help you to dig into your gold mine of skills and talents.
From Graphic Design to a Meaningful Online Shop
For me, I have graphic design experience (I had a graphic design business for over 12+ years). I know how to create digital files that people can print themselves. I have the computer and software to create these posters easily. I have an eye for bold design and strong imagery. And I’m inspired to create meaningful posters for kids’ bedrooms. So I took all that, those skills and talents, to create the online shop.
And, with my mental health being the way it is, I didn’t want to have to show up online and ‘sell’ my work. Remember, some days I couldn’t get out of bed so promoting myself on social media was not something I felt I could, or wanted, to do. So I created my shop within an online marketplace that creates and drives its own traffic.
Creating a Successful Business Without Sacrificing Your Mental Health or Motherhood
If you’re a mum who wants to build something of your own . . . something that brings in income, purpose, or simply a sense of self again . . . I want you to know it’s possible. And it doesn’t have to come at the cost of your mental health or your family’s wellbeing.
I’ve learned that success doesn’t have to mean constant output, pushing through exhaustion, or being available to everyone else all the time. For me, it looks like working gently, with intention. It’s creating when I have the capacity, pausing when I need rest, and letting my business grow at the same pace I’m healing.
Some seasons are creative and productive. Others are quieter . . . focused on therapy, parenting, or simply breathing space. Both are equally valuable. Both are part of the process.
You can build something meaningful that fits within your real life, not on top of it. Something that grows with you, not against you.
If you’re in a season of rebuilding . . . whether that’s your confidence, your income, or your sense of self . . . please know this: you don’t have to sacrifice your peace to create something beautiful.
Healing doesn’t mean stepping away from the world forever. It means learning to move through it in a way that honors your nervous system, your values, and your family.
You can be the mum you want to be and still have something that’s yours. You can heal, create, and thrive . . . slowly, gently, and on your own terms.
