What have I learnt so far?
IT’S ALL ME! ALL OF IT.
I get to choose . . . each and every time.
I know what’s best for me . . . each and every time.
I know the right thing to do . . . each and every time.
Freedom is mine, if I choose it . . . each and every time.
But how do I get to this place of ‘inner knowing’ and confidence in myself to choose right . . . each and every time?
By learning to listen!
By listening to my body.
By listening to my inner voice that knows best.
Not the shitty ego voice that’s always raising its ugly head, trying to pull me down and ‘keep me safe’. The kind, loving, caring voice that wants and knows what’s best for me.
It’s easier said than done. Fuck, I’m forty and still figuring it all out.
But, again, I get to choose.
It’s been really interesting lately with my boys and reframing some of the words we use. My boys will often say, “But it’s hard”. And I’ve started to reframe that by saying, “What if we thought of it as being challenging rather hard. Because we can do hard things!”
So how am I learning to listen and build confidence in myself?
ONE: Choosing me and putting me first. And not in a completely selfish way
I’m an over giver! I give SO MUCH to my boys. It hit me a few months ago that all this giving comes at a cost to me. And what am I teaching or showing my boys by doing so much for them?
So, over the past few weeks I’ve been starting my days strong. Thanks Glennon Doyle for your Morning Meeting Time on 8 April that got me motivated to do this. Her advice was around tv and device time for kids but I took her wisdom for myself LOL.
My strong mornings go something like this:
1. Meditate when I wake. And I use that term lightly LOL.
3. Drink a glass of water that’s sitting beside my bed. Habit stacking is key!
4. Move. For me that’s getting outside in nature and going for 3 – 5km walks.
5. Dance . . . while listening to my fav music.
6. Set the energy of the day using my Do Less planner AND using my Daily Astro Energy Guide.
TWO: Cutting out the things I was using to dull my feelings.
Alcohol. Energy drinks. Food that I was eating to fill the void and fill time. Or food I was eating for the sake of eating.
If my body is full of crap, and dulled down, there’s no way I’m going to be able to ‘hear’ what I need to. If you want to tap into your intuition and inner knowing, there’s lots of articles that point to cutting out the shit you’re putting in your body.
And the benefit is not only this! My body feels better for cutting out the shit too. I just have to be prepared to deal with the feelings I’ve been trying to dull down.
THREE: Feeling my feelings
If I’m not dulling them, I’m gonna have to feel them. FUCK!
Just like hunger and tiredness, feelings are our body’s way of communicating with us. So I’m learning to listen to my body’s cues. Now I acknowledge the feeling, get curious about it and then just let the feeling be. Accept the feeling for what it is.
If you know about Human Design, you’ll understand this . . . I have an emotional authority. By learning to ride my emotional waves and by tracking them, I can connect into the feelings consciously when the wave happens.
Also, if I was triggered by something or someone on social media, I would question those feelings. There’s a reason something triggers us and sometimes, or maybe a lot of the time, it’s that mirror or reflection back that’s hard to accept. I’ve decided that if someone keeps triggering me I unfollow or unsubscribe from that account without feeling guilty about it.
FOUR: I stopped asking people for their opinions
This is a HUGE one for me and has only really started happening recently.
I grew up thinking other people knew what was best for me. That’s really fucking dangerous! I’m going to show my boys different and teach them to trust in themselves, their own authority and their power.
Being an emotional authority, it’s correct for me to sleep on decisions and to wait until I’m cool, calm and collected so I can listen to what’s right for me. This has been GOLD considering we live in a time of instantness.
But like I said at the beginning, ultimately I know what’s right for me. I just need to trust in myself, have confidence in myself and not listen to anyone else.
Of course, people are always going to give me their opinion whether I ask for it or not. But I get to choose to smile and nod or take their opinion on board.
FIVE: Adding more, or doing more, of the things that help me to feel empowered
Using essential oils every single day is a key one for me.
Taking the time to set intentions for my time and energy each day is another big one.
Only listening and following social media accounts I respect or that make me feel good.
Listening to and following my gut. If something feels good, then I do it. If I’m drawn to something, I follow that cue.
Doing things that light me up or bring me joy.
I’ve got the power . . . if I choose it!
Oh and lastly, I’m owning my shit. I choose therefore there’s no blaming anyone else for when shit goes bad. It’s all on me!
ALL OF THIS ^ ^ ^ is still a work in progress. I’m far from perfect or having it all figured out. And that excites me. Every day I get to learn more about myself and become more ME.
Above is just the start but it’s a bloody good start.
What have you learnt about yourself so far? Comment below. I would love to know.
Sending love your way,